2 Months 'Til Mrs. (2 'Til Series) Read Online Free PDF Page B

a newsworthy revelation.
    “They both are,” Lacey noted. “I hope you don’t mind,
Cat. I thought it would be easier to feed them up here than among the masses
downstairs.”
    Catherine cringed. Somewhere along the line her
sister-in-law had taken to using her nickname without the proper permits.
    Without her consent or response, suddenly it was a regular
boob-fest in her childhood bedroom. She hadn’t seen this many naked breasts in
all of her years of gym put together. Contrary to popular belief as per every
high school movie ever, the locker room in her high school wasn’t a
free-for-all with chicks walking around half naked or all naked, and the
showers were never used by anyone . So to have two women whip out
their boobs right in front of her, even though it was completely natural and
entirely shameless, was totally awkward and unnerving. Take that, Aunt
Judy—lesbian, my ass .
    Catherine eyed the squatters in her midst, realizing
she had become invisible as all the suckling and cooing and mothering took the
forefront. A part of her couldn’t help but think that she could be getting
suckled right about now, too, if she’d only had one last vacation day to use
for the year and flown out Thursday instead. Or if she’d just quit her job and
to hell with the consequences. But now she wouldn’t be getting suckled ever
again because of her cockamamie psychic bullshit about the weather telling them
something “vital” about the impossibilities of their relationship. Yes, she’d
really used the word vital .
    Catherine Marie Hemmings is still a total tool.
    “I need a drink,” Catherine announced suddenly,
feeling woefully inadequate. Even though she hadn’t wanted to talk to Georgia
about Fynn anyway, she still felt upstaged by Lacey and their new bond— don’t
you have your own friends? Do you have to take mine? Right at that moment
it hit her that she was probably destined to end up entirely alone—no Fynn, no
Georgia, no nothing.           
     

-5-
     
     
    “Is that really what I am striving to become someday?”
she grumbled, pouring herself a scotch. Not that she drank scotch, but it was
stronger than wine and her faithful bar pals, tequila and vodka, weren’t in
evidence. “They’re obsessed with boobs and burping and—”
    “Now dear, I understand that you’re confused,” Aunt
Judy said soothingly from behind her.
    Catherine whirled around to face her, noticing the
spit and fire in her aunt’s eyes that didn’t mesh with the concern in her
voice. Uncle Al was dutifully one step behind as usual, like he was on a short
leash.
    Judy pried the glass out of Catherine’s hand before
she could take a first sip. “I hardly think you should do anything so drastic
as a changeof that magnitude without proper consideration of the
consequences.”
    “I went from wine to scotch. Big deal,” she retorted.
    “I was talking about the change ,” she
enunciated. “I know that Cher’s daughter did it, but really Catherine, do you
want your mother to have a heart attack? My sister isn’t as forward-thinking as
Cher. I would be fine with it. No shame in my niece becoming a nephew.”
    “Excuse me?”
    “The boobs and burping,” she said quietly, like they
were foul words. “Men are… well… crass. Quite honestly I don’t know how they
live with themselves.” She threw her head toward Al with disgust. “Then again,
I guess if you’re swilling scotch you’re already halfway there.”
    Catherine looked up to the ceiling as if for strength,
realizing what her aunt had overheard with her dog ears. “I was talking about
having a baby.”
    “A baby? Are you pregnant?” Judy asked, almost
salivating over the gossip-worthy news that just kept getting better—her
younger, prettier, nicer sister with a lesbian, transgender, pregnant-out-of-wedlock
daughter!
    “No, I’m not pregnant.”
    “Oh,” Judy said curtly. “Well, you really should consider
thinking before speaking. This house